I've been there, before I married Mariah I told my parents I was stressed because I had a lot of anxiety about doing sometime as life changing as marriage, I was incredibly lonely at that time and had been praying for someone for a long time. I was worried that I was just jumping at the first person I saw and that I was somehow missing His "perfect plan" for my life

My father saw me struggling and gave me a book that completely shifted how I understood God’s will.

Many Christians live in "decision paralysis," thinking God’s will is a tiny dot where a circle of "My Desires" and "God’s Plan" perfectly overlap. If you miss that dot, you’ve missed Plan A… then B… then C.

That’s not how the Bible describes it.

God has given us His Word—and a wide space of freedom within His boundaries. Think of it like a large field with a fence around it.

• Outside the fence: That’s sin. If something contradicts Scripture, it is not God’s will—period.
• Inside the fence: There is real freedom. You can make decisions, use wisdom, and live your life before God. As long as you are walking in obedience, you are not “missing” His will.

How to Know It’s His Idea and Not Yours

Because the human heart can be deceitful, it is easy to mistake our own thoughts or desires for the leading of the Holy Spirit. Scripture gives us clear ways to test this.

1. Check your focus and motive.
   Jesus taught that if your "eye is single," your whole body will be full of light. This means your life must be aimed at pleasing God, not divided between Him and worldly ambitions. You cannot walk in God’s will while conforming to the patterns of the world. As Romans 12:1–2 says, we are to be "transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God."
2. Examine the fruit it produces.
   What comes from God produces a sound mind—marked by humility, gentleness, and self-control. What comes from the flesh or an adversary produces pride, bitterness, worldly desire, and impulsive, irrational behavior.

The most objective standard for knowing God’s will is His written Word.

Because the Holy Spirit inspired Scripture, He will never lead you in a way that contradicts it. Every thought or impression must be tested against the Bible, since this is your safeguard against self-deception. If an idea requires violating a biblical command or principle, it is not from God.

The "Good Decision" Checklist

Once I understood that God’s will is clearly revealed in His Word, my focus shifted to making sure I was aligned with it. I began asking myself these questions:

1. Is she a Christian?
   God’s boundary is clear—we are not to be unequally yoked (2 Corinthians 6:14).

2. Does she display good fruit?
   Are the characteristics of the Spirit evident in her life? (Galatians 5:22–23)

3. Do I display good fruit?
   Am I becoming a man who can lead and love like Christ? (Ephesians 5:25)
   Am I willing to sacrifice for her?

4. Is this just lust?
   Is my desire rooted in something temporary, or something deeper? (1 Corinthians 13:4–8)

5. Do I actually want to marry her?
   God gives real desires, and marriage is holy.

6. What does wise counsel say?
   Do mature, godly people I trust affirm this direction? (Proverbs 15:22)

If you are seeking Him, staying away from sin, and making a decision that is wise and supported by people you trust—just go for it. God isn't trying to hide His will from you like a secret code. He is a Father who calls you to walk in the wisdom He has already given.

The secret is that when you are aligned with Him, His ideas often become your ideas.

• If you are "transformed by the renewing of your mind," you will "prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God" (Romans 12:2). When you stay within the "Borders" (The Word), the stress of "A vs. B" disappears. You realize that God is big enough to bless Path A and Path B, as long as both paths are paved with righteousness.

The "Good Decision" Checklist

Once I understood that God’s will is clearly revealed in His Word, my focus shifted to making sure I was aligned with it. I began asking myself these questions:

1. Is she a Christian?
   God’s boundary is clear—we are not to be unequally yoked (2 Corinthians 6:14).

2. Does she display good fruit?
   Are the characteristics of the Spirit evident in her life? (Galatians 5:22–23)

3. Do I display good fruit?
   Am I becoming a man who can lead and love like Christ? (Ephesians 5:25)
   Am I willing to sacrifice for her?

4. Is this just lust?
   Is my desire rooted in something temporary, or something deeper? (1 Corinthians 13:4–7)

5. Do I actually want to marry her?
   God gives real desires, and marriage is holy (Hebrews 13:4).

6. What does wise counsel say?
   Do mature, godly people I trust affirm this direction? (Proverbs 15:22)

If you are seeking God, rejecting sin, and making a decision shaped by wisdom and godly counsel—you can move forward with confidence. God is not hiding His will like a secret code. He is a Father who calls you to walk in the wisdom He has already given.

He has already told us what is good: "to do justice, to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God" (Micah 6:8).

The reality is that when you are aligned with Him, His desires begin to shape your desires.

• As you are "transformed by the renewing of your mind," you begin to "discern what is the good, acceptable, and perfect will of God" (Romans 12:2).
• When you stay within His boundaries (His Word), the anxiety of “A vs. B” fades. You begin to see that God is able to bless multiple paths—so long as they are walked in righteousness.